Nicki Minaj opened up about her abortion in recent interview, saying she thought she "was going to die". "I was a teenager. It was the hardest thing I'd ever gone through," she continued. Minaj became pregnant when dating upcoming rapper Banknote Mitch, an older guy from Charlotte, N.C., while visiting family.
The decision to abort has "haunted me all my life," but she stands behind her decision: "It'd be contradictory if I said I wasn't pro-choice. I wasn't ready, "I didn't have anything to offer a child." Minaj alludes to the abortion in The Pink Print single "All Things Go," rapping, "My child with Aaron (@Banknotemitch) would have been 16, any minute."Minaj touched on the abortion early in her career, on "Autobiography." But she "didn't expect anyone to hear."
In the third verse of "Autobiography," she alludes to people telling her she wasn't ready to have a baby, and asks for her unborn child's forgiveness: "Please, baby, forgive me, mommy was young/ Mommy was too busy, trying' to have fun/ Now I don't pat myself on the back, for sending you back/ 'Cause God knows, I was better than that... Listened to people who told me I wasn't ready for you/ But how the f--- would they know what I was ready to do?" Nicki broke everything down step by step in a two hour interview, so we had to summarize for this article.
Nicki went on to say my abortion happened 16 years ago. I was dating a guy that I loved very much. We were in an on again, off again relationship for years. When I would take trips to see my family in Charlotte, North Carolina, we would start our relationship right where we left off. His government name is not Aaron, which everyone knows by now, his name is Mitchell. I only said Aaron in the song because I was still bitter.
My career was taking off and I didn't want to help his, just before my abortion we had a fight and broke up. A couple weeks later I found out that I was pregnant, when I told him, he said that he wanted me to have an abortion because he didn't think I would be a good mother. Also, he said I was a big baby and challenged me to finally be a woman. I really never thought he would want me to go through with it. I found out that he was dealing drugs and I wanted him out of my life, so I chose to follow through with his plan. The night before my abortion, I couldn't sleep. I was lying alone in bed with racing thoughts, and I knew what I was about to do was very wrong.
When I woke up that morning, I went to the abortion clinic, I noticed the picketers and I wanted to make sure none of them knew me. I drove around the block. None of them looked familiar, so I pulled into the parking lot and went in. The picketers yelled stuff to me, but I felt they didn't know my situation so they didn't deserve my time. Once inside, I gave the receptionist a fake name. I felt numb. I filled out paper work, talked to a counselor, talked to a nurse, and tried not to think about what I was doing. A nurse escorted me into the abortion room. She helped me get ready for the procedure and just asked me vague questions about the weather and if I was going to school. The abortionist came into the room and began my abortion.
The nurse was leaning over me and starring into my eyes. After a little while, she asked the doctor "Is something wrong?" He said, "It is trying to get away – I've tried three times!" I was shocked!! What he said hit me like a ton of bricks. It is trying to get away! I started to pray and ask God to stop all this from happening – to not let it work – to let it fail - to put His hand in the way of the vacuum. I couldn't believe what I was doing!! Seconds later, the abortionist said, "It's done". He put away his tools and left the room. I was going to die and a part of me did in that room.
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